Eddie is one of those guys you just like. He grows on you. He’s very easy going and impressionable. If you know anything about American westerns and cowboys, almost every hero has a sidekick. That would be Eddie. We work together. Although, I would not ask him much about politics or the state of the economy, I definitely enjoy having him by my side and he makes work and life much more enjoyable. Here are a couple of conversations we recently had. Honest to goodness, they’re true. His words are highlighted in red.
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After working outside on a rainy day…
That water was wet!
Yes, it was. It normally is.
Yes, but it was really wet.
Water is always wet, Eddie…
But…
Hey, Eddie, just because you put a rubber on your dick doesn’t mean it’s going to bounce.
Huh???
x
While driving past a Hooters restaurant…
Why do they call that place Hooters? I mean, it’s not like the girls show off their…
No, Eddie. Don’t you know what Hooters are? They’re owls.
They are?
Yes. Haven’t you ever noticed the owl in their logo? The eyes are the 2 “O’s” in the logo.
Really?
Yes, check it out next time. Besides, they’re famous for selling owl wings.
Owl wings?
Yes, owl wings. I mean, they’re probably more famous for chicken wings, but they do offer them.
I thought they were on the endangered list.
No! There are millions of them.
Oh.
Besides, they don’t kill them.
No?
No. They’re like frog’s legs.
You mean, they grow back, like frog’s legs?
No, the wings don’t grow back, but they don’t kill them, either. You know how owls fly around seeking out their prey? Well, when they live in captivity and are fed every day, they don’t need to fly around looking for food. Sort of like clipping parrot’s wings. They just kind of waddle around after you cut off their wings. As long as you feed them, they’re fine.
But, I’ve been to Hooters and I’ve never seen them on the menu.
They don’t offer them all the time. Besides, they’re very expensive.
They are?
Yes. You know how shrimp is always available, but lobster is always market price?
Yup.
Well, there you have it.
You know, a new species of albino shrimp was found in a cave somewhere…
Where?
I don’t know. Somewhere in China, I think.
9 responses so far ↓
Ina // March 1, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Hooters are owls! Didnot know that… Like Eddy I thought, well, hooters = ( . )( . )
And you can eat their wings in a restaurant?
Really?? Do they taste like chicken?
Marinade Dave // March 2, 2008 at 10:46 am
Actually, Hooters is a slang term for women’s breasts. It also refers to owls, thus the play on words and legitimacy of the logo design.
They don’t actually serve them. I was just kidding around with Eddie, but he believed me. I realize there are many cultural differences between countries, so I can understand your interest and belief in eating owl wings in America. What really got me going was when he said frog’s legs grow back. They don’t, but they do taste a lot like chicken, believe it or not.
I really love your art, Ina!… (.)(.) … I’ve never seen that one before.
Ina // March 2, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Don’t you mean ( . )( . )
So there is no suc thing as a bigmac hooters huh?
I am feeling a bit of an Eddy now…
Ina // March 2, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I meant “such”, I dropped an h somehow.
You never know what people eat in other countries. Bulls balls in Spain f.i., or sheap eyes in some meditterean countries. Insects…
Marinade Dave // March 2, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Egads! There are very weird things eaten around the world, including maggots.
According to Wikipedia, “Rocky Mountain oysters, mountain oysters, prairie oysters, Montana tendergroin or swinging sirloin are North American culinary names given to buffalo, boar or bull testicles. They are usually peeled, coated in flour, pepper and salt, sometimes pounded flat, then deep-fried.” … Certainly, not a part of my diet.
( . )( . ) instead of (.)(.) ? I’ve always been partial to B cups, actually, and I don’t like [.][.] fake ones.
I used to manage (and eventually own) a restaurant in New Jersey called Weiner King. Imagine how I used to get teased.
Ina // March 2, 2008 at 5:22 pm
( * )( * )
Weiner? Weiner as in Wien (Vienna)? Or as in Wein = wine?
Did you serve weenies btw?
King of the weeny.
Marinade Dave // March 2, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Yes, I was King of the Weenies. I served them at the Weiner King, but privately, I was only king to one woman at a time. When I owned my own restaurant, I named the corporation HTW & Associates, Inc. That stood for “Hide The Weenie” and the “Associates” were the girls I hid it in.
Ina // March 2, 2008 at 5:33 pm
LOL!
Marinade Dave // March 2, 2008 at 6:46 pm
And you know, Ina, very few people actually knew what those initials meant in the corporate name. When asked, I told most people it stood for “Hunterdon Texas Weiners.” Hunterdon was the county the restaurant was in, and Texas Weiners were the signature food item, a hot dog with mustard, onions and chili.
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